break your heart..

a very important date is coming up..

friday december 2nd.

this is the day that the strongest and bravest person i've ever known was born.

that person is my mother.

the one and only.

and, on behalf of her birthday,

every post i have this month will be titled with song names..

from her favorite band.

the barenaked ladies.

i sure love her and am glad she is my mom.

***

this year for Thanksgiving, our regular tradition was a little different.

my uncle Shane is a Salt Lake Sheriff and had to work a double shift..

yeah i know, savings lives and arresting stupid people :)

so my grandparents decided to postpone our dinner to friday.

so my parents decided that we would go eat out for fun..

so we went to golden corral.

it was pretty good food, and we had a great time together.

but something happened that day that is sticking to me like glue.

as we were getting ready to leave i noticed an elderly man eating at a table alone.

my heart instantly broke, and i wanted to cry.

this older man, all alone on thanksgiving.

no family.. no one.

what could i have done for this old man to make him feel not so alone?

why was he alone?

did no one else notice him and not say anything to him either?

i noticed him.

so.. why didn't i say anything.

or atleast wish him happy holidays.

he probably spends christmas alone as well.

this fact breaks my heart. so much.

i am so full of regret for not having done service for him, or shown him love.

does he know that he is loved?

does he atleast know that he has a Savior who loves him?

i sure hope so more than anything.

because i was too afraid to help him know that.

what gets even worse here is that i have a grandfather in oregon.

he has no one as well.

he is very old, not married and my dad is his only child.

we are too far away and hardly know him,

but he is alone.

why do these certain things cause my heart to break?

what could i do to help these people?

i was raised with a knowledge that

service to other people is the most important thing we can do in this life.

being Christ-like by sacrifice and giving to others is soo important.

because it is.

i feel like i can do so much and yet, i don't.

so i'm going to.

starting now.

no more judgements.

no more hatred.

no more needs or desires for materials.

just help those who need it.

because i really do have so much.

so much more than a lot of people do.

what is so hard about giving up some of the things you have

to people who need it and will help them more than we may ever understand.

i'm done being greedy.

i'm done being selfish.

i'm done acting like everything is about me.

now is the time to give and make it about others.

it shouldn't apply just for Christmas time either.

it should be always.. you know??

i'm ready to make a difference, i truly want to.

i don't want to have any regrets by choosing to not act, or speak. 

it ends now.

Love, Erin